The Power of Self Control

How will you react to these situations?

- Your kid doesn't get what he wants and he throw tantrums in the mall

- You get stuck with the traffic for very long hours

- Your sibling gets your thing without your permission

- Your boss screams at you in front of your colleagues

Will you be able to control your emotions?

or  Will you easily lose your temper?


I noticed that people nowadays are more expressive of what they feel. This is evident by posts in social media such as Facebook and Twitter, not only by ordinary people, but also by some influential celebrities. Some tend to say what they feel through these networks without regard to its implications to other people.

I'm hearing 3 myths about dealing with anger and temper.

Myth #1: "I can't control my emotions, I am a naturally hot headed person"

- All of us might have different reactions to circumstances. Some are born patient and some are born ill tempered or easily angered. However, here's the truth - all of us have a perfect control on our emotions. Yes, we don't have control to what's happening around us, but .. but.. we definitely have control on how we will react to different situations. When it comes to our emotions, isn't it better for us to be in driver's seat than in the passenger's seat?

Myth #2: "If I'm angry it's better to let it all out than to keep it inside"

- As a human, it's natural for us to express a strong emotion for our concerns. However, we should all realize that we can still learn to vent without exploding. You might choose a close friend who can fully understand your feelings and you might sincerely tell your concerns to him. Let him know that you just want someone to listen. Feel your feelings but don't let yourself do something that you will regret afterwards. Control your emotions and don't let it control you.

Myth #3: "If I'm gentle toward all, everyone will walk over me"

- This is just a complete myth. It won't make you a lesser person if you will be able to control your emotions. People will surely respect you more if you will display  self control.

Words are very powerful in building relationships. It can make or break someone's day.

How would you feel if someone tells you you're weak? you're a failure? you're ugly?

So the next time you feel like saying something which you think is true, but you're also aware that it could hurt someone's feeling, take control! bite your tongue! It's better to hurt yourself than to hurt others.

To better understand the concept of self control, let me share you a story... 

Once upon a time there was a little boy who was talented, creative, handsome, and extremely bright. A natural leader. The kind of person everyone would normally have wanted on their team or project. But he was also self-centered and had a very bad temper. When he got angry, he usually said, and often did, some very hurtful things. In fact, he seemed to have little regard for those around him. Even friends. So, naturally, he had few. “But,” he told himself, “that just shows how stupid most people are!”

As he grew, his parents became concerned about this personality flaw, and pondered long and hard about what they should do. Finally, the father had an idea. And he struck a bargain with his son. He gave him a bag of nails, and a BIG hammer. “Whenever you lose your temper,” he told the boy, “I want you to really let it out. Just take a nail and drive it into the oak boards of that old fence out back. Hit that nail as hard as you can!”

Of course, those weathered oak boards in that old fence were almost as tough as iron, and the hammer was mighty heavy, so it wasn’t nearly as easy as it first sounded. Nevertheless, by the end of the first day, the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence (That was one angry young man!). Gradually, over a period of weeks, the number dwindled down. Holding his temper proved to be easier than driving nails into the fence! Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He felt mighty proud as he told his parents about that accomplishment.

“As a sign of your success,” his father responded, “you get to PULL OUT one nail. In fact, you can do that each day that you don’t lose your temper even once.”
Well, many weeks passed. Finally one day the young boy was able to report proudly that all the nails were gone.

At that point, the father asked his son to walk out back with him and take one more good look at the fence. “You have done well, my son,” he said. “But I want you to notice the holes that are left. No matter what happens from now on, this fence will never be the same. Saying or doing hurtful things in anger produces the same kind of result. There will always be a scar. It won’t matter how many times you say you’re sorry, or how many years pass, the scar will still be there. And a verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. People are much more valuable than an old fence. They make us smile. They help us succeed. Some will even become friends who share our joys, and support us through bad times. And, if they trust us, they will also open their hearts to us. That means we need to treat everyone with love and respect. We need to prevent as many of those scars as we can.”


Relationships are the best investment in this world. We should spend time building bridges rather than barriers in our relationships. One way to do this is to practice self control.

"If you conquer yourself, then you conquer the world"

- Paulo Coelho, Aleph

Be a better you everyday,
Maya